Friday, October 24, 2025

Why Your Money Problems Aren't About Math

For most of my life, I believed that understanding money was a matter of IQ. Become smarter, learn the formulas, master the spreadsheets, and success will follow. I couldn't have been more wrong. If financial success were just about math, we’d all be millionaires. We have access to centuries of market data, sophisticated algorithms, and endless free advice. Nevertheless, people who are statistically brilliant (engineers, doctors, actuaries) often make astonishingly poor financial decisions. Why? This is due to the fact that managing money is not an exact science. It's behavior. Morgan Housel’s brilliant book, The Psychology of Money: Timeless Lessons on Wealth, Greed, and Happiness, is not a "how-to" guide filled with stock tips. It's a deep, insightful dive into the messy, irrational dynamics that truly dictate our financial outcomes. If you’re looking for the ultimate guide to thinking differently about your savings, investments, and spending habits—this book is essential. Here is a concise analysis of Housel’s core arguments, the most important lessons we can learn, and why this perspective shift is crucial for your long-term happiness.  


Behavior Trumps Intelligence. Housel’s central message is simple, yet revolutionary: your financial outcome is dictated more by your psychological history and emotional conditioning than by any complex financial model. Housel gently reminds us that we make financial decisions in real life, where ego, fear, anxiety, and the desire for social status constantly complicate matters. For Housel, the greatest investors aren't the ones with the highest IQs, but the ones who can master their minds during periods of chaos and temptation. “Financial success is not a hard science. It’s a soft skill, where how you behave is more important than what you know.” This immediately levels the playing field. You don’t need a Harvard degree or access to proprietary algorithms; you need patience, discipline, and a solid understanding of how compounding works.

 Four Essential Lessons We Must Internalize. While The Psychology of Money offers 20 distinct chapters, four themes stand out as absolutely crucial for anyone seeking financial stability and peace of mind.

 1. The Magic and Tyranny of Compounding

We all know compounding works, but Housel forces us to truly appreciate the sheer power of time combined with consistency. He uses the classic example of Warren Buffett. Buffett is a brilliant investor, yes, but his true genius lies in the fact that he started investing early and hasn't stopped for over 70 years. Housel observes that Buffett accumulated 99% of his net worth after turning 50. The lesson here is profound: extraordinary results don't require extraordinary effort, just extraordinary duration. The Lesson: Stop searching for market-crushing returns or high-risk investments. The greatest tool you have is time and consistency. For 99.9% of people, achieving rapid wealth is a myth; instead, achieving gradual wealth through consistent savings and allowing compounding to take the lead is the most dependable approach.

2. The Humility of Luck and Risk

 Housel dedicates significant time to discussing the role of luck—good and bad—in financial outcomes. While narratives of individual heroic effort naturally captivate us, real-world success is rarely that straightforward. Acknowledging that luck plays a part is not an excuse for laziness; it’s a necessary ingredient for humility and empathy. Highly successful people often underestimate the tailwinds they enjoyed, while those who fail often had unfortunate luck that was fully outside their control. "Luck and risk are closely related." They are both the reality that every outcome in life is guided by forces other than individual effort.” The Lesson: When thinking about your success, leave room for luck, which fosters humility. When evaluating others, leave room for risk, which fosters forgiveness and prevents you from trying to replicate their unique path perfectly. Crucially, recognize that the highest returns often come from extreme and rare events, meaning you must stay in the game long enough to capture them.

3. Defining "Enough" is the Antidote to Regret

This last point is arguably the most important behavioral lesson in the book. Modern capitalism is an engine built to make us feel perpetually inadequate. As soon as we reach a certain point, the engine shifts the boundaries further away. The concept of "enough" is critical because the greatest financial risks are taken by people who already have more than they need but are driven by greed or envy to acquire just some more. This hunger often leads to ruin. Housel points out that the fastest way to lose everything is to forget why you started saving in the first place. The Lesson: Those who can stop adjusting their goals achieve the highest financial rewards. Define what true security, not status, means to you. Knowing when to stop, or resisting the urge for that extra, unnecessary risk, is the only way to retain what you’ve built.

4. Wealth is What You Don't See

We often confuse wealth with spending. When we see someone driving a Bentley or wearing a Rolex, we assume they are wealthy. Housel argues they are merely demonstrating their available cash flow. True wealth, however, is invisible. Wealth is the money you haven't spent—the equity, the investments, and the stability in your bank account that provides future flexibility. “Spending money to show people how much money you have is the fastest way to have less money.” People who spend huge amounts on signaling status are often just trying to gain admiration. But Housel offers a sharp realization: people driving that Ferrari are rarely impressing onlookers; rather, the onlookers are simply thinking, "Wow, I wish I had that Ferrari." They aren't thinking about the person driving it. The Lesson: True financial independence is the ability to enjoy freedom, not the ability to buy bigger things. Focus on building the invisible safety net (wealth) rather than the visible status symbols (spending). Why These Lessons Matter: The Importance of Flexibility and Time

The practical significance of Housel's teachings lies in attaining two significantly undervalued resources: flexibility and mastery over your time. Financial advice often focuses on maximizing returns, but Housel argues that the greatest dividend money can buy is independence.

 The Value of the Safety Margin

Housel champions the idea of a "safety margin" or redundancy. This isn't just an emergency fund; it's a structural approach to life that assumes things will go wrong—because they always do. The safety margin means having a savings rate that is slightly higher than optimized, having an investment portfolio that is slightly more diversified than necessary, and accepting returns that are "good enough" rather than aiming for "peak performance." Why? Because the moment you lose sleep over your investments or are forced to sell assets during a market crash just to cover an unexpected expense, you've allowed external forces to dictate your life. Redundancy acts as the shock absorber that allows you to remain rational when the world goes crazy. " The single most powerful tool for building wealth is a high savings rate. Not high returns, not a fancy job, but simply the gap between your ego and your income." If your savings rate is high, you gain flexibility. Flexibility allows you to wait out bad job markets, pivot careers, grab unexpected opportunities, or simply tell a toxic boss, "No." That is the real power of money.

 The Ultimate Freedom

 The greatest benefit of understanding the psychology of money is the realization that money, at its best, is a tool for buying back your time. If you save diligently and avoid lifestyle creep (the tendency to spend more as you earn more), you are essentially purchasing chunks of future freedom. You are shortening the time you must spend working for someone else. Housel encourages readers to consider the utility of their choices—does this new purchase genuinely make me happier, or is the money better used to gain an extra year of early retirement? This perspective shifts the focus from "How do I beat the market?" to "How do I build a life that is less financially brittle and affords me more control over my waking hours?"

  The Power of the Simple

The Psychology of Money is a phenomenal read because it strips away the jargon and complexity that surround finance and brings us back to basic human truths. It teaches us that debt is a mortgage against your future self, that volatility is the necessary entry fee for returns, and that the history of the market is never a perfect predictor of its future. It’s not just a book about wealth; it’s a book about patience, perspective, and happiness. Housel enables us to acknowledge that we don't have to be the most knowledgeable individual in the room—all we need to do is steer clear of disastrous mistakes motivated by greed, fear, or ego. If you choose to read just one finance book this year, I highly recommend selecting this one. It will change the way you view your paycheck, your portfolio, and, most importantly, your peace of mind. What's your most important money psychology lesson? Share your thoughts on the book in the comments below!

Friday, October 3, 2025

Why Owning Your Mistakes and Staying Goal‑Focused Is the Real Secret to Success

 If you've ever scrolled through Instagram, you've likely come across a glossy photo of someone "crushing it" accompanied by a caption that echoes, "Success depends on taking responsibility for your mistakes and focusing on your goal."  Yet, for most of us, those two tiny clauses seem like a daunting task. “Taking responsibility for your mistakes”—The Power of the Oops Moment. Why does this matter? When you assign blame to others, such as your boss, the market, or the coffee machine, you are essentially relinquishing control over your life. The moment you own a slip‑up, you instantly become two things:

Control—You decide what the next move is.

Learning—mistakes become data points instead of dead ends.

Everyday example: The missed deadline

Imagine you’re a freelancer and you turn in a project two days late

Avoidance route: “My client kept changing the brief, the internet was slow…”

Ownership route: “I misjudged the scope and didn’t buffer enough time.”

What changes?

In the first scenario, you wasted energy defending yourself.

In the second, you free up mental bandwidth to actually fix the problem—maybe you negotiate a new deadline or streamline your workflow for the next gig.

 Thomas Edison and the light bulb

Edison famously said he didn’t fail 1,000 times—he discovered 1,000 ways a filament wouldn’t work. Each "failure" represented a deliberate, documented experiment. By taking responsibility for each dead end, he transformed the entire process into a stepping stone toward his eventual breakthrough.

Quick tip: The “5‑Second Ownership” habit

When something goes wrong, pause for five seconds and answer these three questions out loud:

What exactly happened?

What part did I play?

What can I do right now to move forward?

Write the answer in a notebook or a notes app. Over a week, you’ll notice a dramatic drop in “blame the outside” chatter.

“Focusing on your ‘goal’

Why focus beats hustle

Hustle culture encourages us to "work harder and do more."” However, without a clear direction, all that energy becomes mere noise. Focus is the mental GPS that tells you where to apply that hustle. A tech startup builds an app for “social bookmarking.” Six months in, the user base stalls. A scattergun approach: They keep adding features, hoping one will stick. They go back to the core data—users love the search function. They focus on enhancing the search function to create a best-in-class experience, rebrand their product, and within a year, they become a niche leader.

The difference? The second team kept a laser focus on the goal (a product people love) instead of getting lost in endless feature creep.

Sports analog: Michael Jordan’s “flu game”

Jordan didn’t let a fever derail his focus on winning Game 5 of the 1997 Finals. He took responsibility for his physical state (rest, hydration, and medication) and kept his goal—winning the championship—front and center. The result? 38 points and a legendary performance. Pro tip: The “One‑Thing‑Only” rule

Pick the single most important action that moves you toward your goal today. Put this at the top of your to-do list, and don't do anything else until it's done or you have a good reason to wait. It trains your brain to treat focus like a muscle.

By acknowledging the mistake, you identify what truly requires attention.

Realign to the goal → you decide the right fix, not just any fix.

Example: A writer’s dreaded first draft

Mistake: “My draft is terrible; I’m a bad writer.”

Ownership: “I spent too much time worrying about perfect sentences instead of fleshing out the story.”

Goal: “Finish a 2,000‑word draft by Friday.”

Result? The writer eliminates perfectionism, completes the main content, and then uses the remaining time for editing, creating a purposeful and goal-driven flow. 

Company case study: Netflix’s “Netflix and Chill” pivot

Early 2000s: Netflix mailed DVDs and blamed “late deliveries” for churn.

Ownership: Executives acknowledged that the physical media business model was restrictive.

Goal: “Be the world’s leading streaming platform.”

Focus: They invested heavily in streaming tech and original content and abandoned the DVD‑only model.

Fast forward: Netflix is now a cultural juggernaut. Their success story is a textbook example of marrying responsibility with relentless goal focus. 

How to Put This Quote Into Action Right Now

Step       What You Do      MiniExercise

1️ Identify a recent mistake. Write it down in one sentence.  “I missed the client’s deadline last week.”

2️ Own it.  Add a “my part” clause. “I didn’t buffer enough time for revisions.”

3️ Extract the lesson. Ask, what did this event teach me?     “I need a 20% time cushion for future projects.”

4️ Clarify your goal. Write a crisp, measurable goal.  “Deliver all client work 24 hrs early for the next three months.”

5️ Align your next action. Choose ONE task that links the lesson to the goal.    “Create a master project timeline template with builtin buffers.

6️ Review weekly          Reflect on the loop: ownership → lesson → action → goal.               Sunday: 5minute journal entry.

 Do this for one mistake each week. Before you know it, you’ll have a personal “success playbook” built on accountability and focus. The Takeaway in Two Sentences

Own your slip‑ups so you can turn them into data, not excuses.

Zero in on your goal so every corrective action is purposeful, not scattered. When you combine the two, you’ve essentially built a self‑correcting engine that propels you forward—no matter how bumpy the road gets. Ready to give it a whirl? Grab a sticky note, jot down that recent mistake you’ve been side‑stepping, and pair it with your biggest goal for the month. Stick it on your laptop, coffee mug, or bathroom mirror. Every time you see it, you’re reminded: Success isn’t a myth; it’s a habit of responsibility and focus. Go crush it! 🚀 



Friday, September 26, 2025

What is the smallest investment you can make in yourself today?

Let's be real for a second. Whether you're glancing at your retirement fund, scrolling through job postings, or just trying to navigate the price of groceries, there's one thing that feels constant: change. Often, this constant change can be perceived as instability. The stock market experiences fluctuations, the job market adapts to technological advancements, and even the housing market exhibits unpredictable fluctuations. It's enough to make anyone feel  twitchy about their future. That's why I love this quote from Mikhail Barshchevsky: "Markets are unstable. Invest in yourself." Simple, right? However, the implications are profound.  This piece of wisdom isn't just a clever saying. Firstly, Barshchevsky confronts us with the harsh reality: "Markets are unstable." And he's not wrong. Financial Markets: Stocks go up, stocks go down. Cryptocurrencies soar and plummet. Interest rates fluctuate, affecting everything from your savings to your mortgage. Your financial well-being can feel like it's tied to external forces you can't control. Job Markets: Some industries emerge, and others fade. Gold skills last year might be common this year. Automation and AI are constantly reshaping the landscape, creating both opportunities and anxieties. Economic Markets: Inflation, recessions, and global supply chain disruptions—these aren't just headlines; they directly impact our daily lives and long-term planning. The anxiety of it all can easily overwhelm us, causing us to constantly check charts and refresh news feeds. However, Barshchevsky presents an alternative approach: The Unshakeable Value of Internal Investment. This is where the magic happens: "Invest in yourself." What does that really mean? It's about shifting your focus from the volatile external world to the one asset you truly own and control: YOU. Think of "investing in yourself" as building a diversified portfolio of personal resilience, capability, and well-being. Here's what that looks like in practice: Skills & Knowledge (Your Intellectual Capital): Continuous Learning: The world is changing? Great! Learn new skills. Take an online course, read books, listen to podcasts, master new software, or even learn a new language. The more adaptable and multi-talented you are, the less vulnerable you are to shifts in any one industry. Problem-Solving & Critical Thinking: These aren't just buzzwords; they're superpowers. The ability to analyze, adapt, and innovate makes you invaluable, no matter the market conditions. Health & Well-being (Your Physical & Mental Capital): Physical Health: Constant exhaustion or illness prevents you from conquering the world or even your to-do list. Prioritize excellent nutrition, regular exercise, and adequate sleep. It's the foundation for everything else. Mental & Emotional Resilience: The markets are unstable, but your mind doesn't have to be. Practice mindfulness, seek support when needed, set boundaries, and cultivate hobbies that bring you joy and allow you to decompress. A calm, focused mind is your best tool for navigating uncertainty. Relationships & Networks (Your Social Capital): Building Connections: Networking isn't just for job hunting. It's about building a strong support system of peers, mentors, and friends. These connections can open doors, offer advice, or simply provide a much-needed sounding board. Personal Growth & Self-Awareness: Understanding your strengths, weaknesses, values, and passions allows you to make more informed decisions about your career and life path, aligning your actions with what truly matters to you. The Unbeatable ROI: You Are Your Safest Bet. The beauty of investing in yourself is that it's largely recession-proof. A market crash or a job cut cannot easily devalue your knowledge, health, or resilience. They accompany you on all your journeys. When you invest in yourself, you're not just preparing for market instability; you're building a stronger, more adaptable, and ultimately more fulfilled version of you. You become your most valuable asset, equipped to not just survive unpredictable times but to thrive within them. Therefore, the next time you encounter market fluctuations or economic uncertainty, take a moment to relax. Acknowledge the external reality, but remember Barshchevsky's timeless advice. Stop worrying about what you can't control and invest in yourself instead. What's one small investment you can make in yourself today? I personally like walking in the woods on an eco-trail for at least an hour a day. Share in the comments below if you like! 






Friday, September 19, 2025

The Uncomfortable Truth About Riches: Are We Chasing Wealth, or Just Relative Advantage?

We all possess it, that faint glimmer of a dream: what would it be like to attain genuine wealth? Imagine not having to worry about bills, traveling the world, and purchasing anything our heart desires. It's a universal fantasy, often painted with scenes of absolute comfort and freedom. But what if the desire goes beyond merely accumulating wealth? What if it's about having more? That's the provocative question posed by the 19th-century philosopher John Stuart Mill: "People would rather not be rich; people want to be richer than others." At first glance, this Mill quote may sound cynical, even dismissive of true ambition. But it is strikingly true, especially in our modern world. Imagine someone who has enough to live comfortably, free of debt, and able to afford a lovely home, nutritious food, occasional holidays, and reliable healthcare. By many objective standards, this person is rich—at least relatively speaking compared to the majority of the global population. However, many individuals in this position still yearn for more. Why? Mill suggests it's because our definition of "rich" isn't a fixed, internal metric. It's an ever-shifting benchmark, constantly calibrated against those around us. The Social Game of Wealth: The "Keeping Up With The Joneses" Phenomenon: It's not enough to have a lovely car; it needs to be nicer than your neighbor's. Your vacation destination isn't just about exploration; it's about being more exotic than your colleague's. Social comparison is a deeply ingrained human trait. We assess our standing, success, and happiness by looking at others. Status and Signaling: Wealth is often a proxy for status. It signals success, power, competence, and even desirability. To be "richer than others" isn't just about material possessions; it's about being perceived as superior and more accomplished. Our drive for social validation and respect can be a powerful engine behind the pursuit of comparative wealth. The Hedonic Treadmill: Even when we achieve a new level of wealth, our happiness often quickly returns to a baseline. We adapt. That new luxury car becomes just "our car." That bigger house becomes "our house." The novelty wears off, and our aspirations reset, often looking to the next tier, the next person with something more. This endless cycle often leaves us feeling perpetually short of true "richness." The Modern Amplifier: Social Media: We have never experienced such constant exposure to the carefully curated highlights of others' lives. Instagram feeds overflow with luxury travel, designer clothes, and aspirational lifestyles. This constant bombardment makes Mill's observation even more potent. We're not just comparing ourselves to our neighbors anymore; we're comparing ourselves to a global highlight reel, often feeling deficient in the process. Absolute Needs: Many people genuinely desire wealth for the security, comfort, and freedom it provides, regardless of how it compares to others. The peace of mind that comes from financial stability is a powerful motivator. Freedom and Impact: For some, wealth is a tool—a means to pursue passions, support causes, create jobs, or build a lifelong legacy. Their motivation isn't necessarily about outcompeting peers but about maximizing their potential for good or personal fulfillment. Defining "Enough": There are those who consciously choose to define "enough" for themselves, detaching from the endless pursuit of "more than." This process often involves a deeper alignment with personal values than societal expectations. What Does Such an Approach Mean for Us? What truly drives our financial goals? Is it a genuine desire for security and comfort, or is there an underlying need for validation, status, or to simply keep pace with (or remain ahead of) our peers? Are we constantly striving to reach a goal that seems unattainable? If the goal is to be richer than others, then achieving true contentment may always be unattainable, as there will always be someone who is wealthier than us. How can we define "rich" according to our standards? Perhaps true richness lies not in the size of our bank account relative to others, but in the abundance of our experiences, relationships, health, and freedom. John Stuart Mill's observation forces us to confront an uncomfortable truth about our ambitions. It challenges us to look beyond the superficial glitter of wealth and ask: are we really chasing a dream, or are we simply trapped in a relentless game of comparison? The answer might just reshape our entire approach to money, happiness, and what it truly means to be "rich." 


Friday, September 12, 2025

Fear of failure is an Obstacle to Pursuing Goals

I recently was browsing through my book titled “The Wealth in the Great Kingdom” (an exceptionally engaging read, by the way!). and decided to analyze the quote. “People are afraid of failure, and that’s why they very rarely take on something that is in their best interest or something that is their dream.” This isn’t some revolutionary, unheard-of revelation, right? We all know it to some extent.” Think about it. How many times have you had an idea, a goal, a little whisper of a dream, and then… crickets? Not because you didn’t want it, but because the “what if” monster has reared its ugly head? What if I try to start a side business and no one buys anything? What if the office mocks my request for a promotion? What if I take that art class and my drawing looks like a toddler’s scribble? What if I start this blog (meta, I know!) and no one reads it? This fear of failure isn’t just an annoying voice; it’s a real lever at the door of our potential. It stops us from even trying to do things that are explicitly good for us or deeply rooted in our hearts. And here’s the thing: It’s not just about grand, life-changing dreams. It’s also about the smaller, everyday things that could make a big difference in our lives. Asking for help, setting boundaries, taking a different route to work, trying a new recipe, and learning a new skill can all make a significant difference in our lives. These are all things that could be “in our favor,” but the fear of messing things up, looking stupid, or “wasting” time can hold us back. So what’s going on here? We’re so terrified of a bad outcome that we completely shut out the possibility of a good one. To avoid the discomfort of potentially tripping up, we’re choosing to stay where we are, even if it’s not where we want to be. But here’s a little secret: Everyone fails. Seriously. Every successful person you admire has a graveyard of failed attempts behind them. The difference? They didn’t let those failures define them or stop them from taking the next step. They learned, they changed, and they kept going. What actions can we take to overcome this? Reframe failure: Rather than viewing it as a catastrophic event, view it as a valuable piece of information. “Okay, that didn’t work. Why? What can I do differently next time?” This isn’t a stop sign; it’s a workaround. Start small. Do you have a big dream? Break it down into the smallest, most doable first step. Don’t want to fail while writing a novel? Just write one sentence today. Don’t want to fail your presentation? Just make a plan on the first slide. Embrace imperfection: “It’s better to be done than perfect” is a mantra for a reason. Go out there, try, stumble, and learn. It’s all part of the process. Think about the cost of not trying: What’s worse than failure? Imagine looking back years later and wondering "what if" you had just taken that step. Regret is often much more painful than a wrong step. This line from “The Wealth in the Great Kingdom” isn’t just an observation; it’s a challenge. It’s a call to look at what we’re hiding from ourselves because of fear, which is often much scarier in our heads than it really is. What is one thing you’ve been putting off because of fear of failure? Maybe today is the day to take just one small step in that direction. Even if it feels like a stumble, it’s still a step forward. What are your thoughts on this? Let me know in the comments below! Let’s overcome these fears together. 


 

Friday, September 5, 2025

The difference between a stupid, smart and wise person

Have you ever wondered what separates the person who is constantly putting themselves out there from the person who is always one step ahead and then the person who just seems to understand life on a deeper level? We often throw around terms like "stupid," "smart," and "wise" quite loosely, but there's a fascinating distinction that goes far beyond just IQ. Think of it as different levels of understanding of how the world works, or maybe just how well you learn from those inevitable bumps in the road."A stupid person doesn't accept mistakes." Now, I'm not talking about someone who struggles with complex math, because that's just a skill gap or a different kind of intelligence. I'm talking about someone who keeps making the same beginner's mistakes, over and over again. You know the type: touches a hot stove, burns their hand, and five minutes later reaches for it again, genuinely surprised that it's still hot. Or he falls for the same phishing email, even after you’ve explained it to him three times. It’s not a lack of information; it’s a complete failure to learn from experience or simply a complete disregard for basic common sense. As the old saying goes (often attributed to Einstein), “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Indeed, our "stupid" friend is trapped in a cycle, seemingly impervious to learning. A smart person learns from their mistakes. What about the “smart” person? They are quite different. Once they come into contact with a hot stove, they suffer a burn and swiftly grasp the lesson. The next time they recall the pain, they might even reach for an oven mitt or at least proceed with caution. They excel in problem-solving, comprehending the relationship between causes and effects, and effectively applying their knowledge. They will figure out a more efficient route to work after getting stuck in traffic, or they will read up on how to avoid phishing scams after a dangerous situation and implement new security measures on their computers. They effectively navigate the world by gathering, processing, and utilizing information. They know that “knowledge is power,” as Francis Bacon said, and they use that power to accomplish their work done and avoid pitfalls. They are adept at adapting and optimizing. "A wise person learns from the mistakes of others." This individual does not require experiencing harm firsthand to understand that it will be painful. They merely observe another individual being struck by a bus and contemplate, "Note to self: avoid playing in the bus lanes." They absorb the experience secondhand like a superpower. Example: You’re at work. Brenda in accounting just spent three days working on a giant report, didn’t save it once, and her computer crashed. You hear a blood-curdling scream from her office. But the wise person? They watched Brenda’s crash from afar, silently opened Google Drive, and set their document to “autosave every minute.” They didn’t have to go through the data loss themselves. They learned from Brenda’s very public, very painful mistake and proactively avoided that future headache altogether. That’s wisdom. The result is efficiency on a whole other level. But they will also carefully warn others, explaining danger not just as a rule but as a principle of safety and well-being. They see the bigger picture, foresee long-term consequences, and often possess an incredible sense of empathy and judgment. They don’t just solve problems; they often prevent them or propose solutions that benefit all involved, considering not only efficiency but also harmony, ethics, and sustainability. It's not just knowing what to do, but when, why, and the impact it will have. As Aristotle wisely observed, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” They understand human nature, their limitations, and the vastness of the world around them, often guiding them with a gentle, insightful hand. So what’s the point? Stupidity is your greatest obstacle. Smartness is being your own teacher. Wisdom is letting the whole world be your teacher. It’s a reminder to loosen our grip on our ego, to pay attention to the mess people around us make, and to realize that not every lesson has to be learned the hard way. So the next time people make a mess around us, just smile. They’re giving you a free lesson. All you have to do is be wise enough to accept it. 


Friday, August 29, 2025

The only problem with a person who always finds fault with another is because of their weakness

This week I had the idea to jot down a few lines about the quote from The Wealth of the Great Kingdom—"The only problem with a person who always finds fault with another is because of their weakness"—it's really different, isn't it? It’s one of those lines that makes you think, “Yeah, that explains a lot.” The quote's simplicity belies its profound depth. When we talk about someone who “always finds fault with another,” we’re not just talking about a one-time complaint or a valid complaint. We’re talking about someone who seems to have a built-in flaw radar, constantly pointing out what’s wrong with everyone else—their choices, their appearance, their work, and their life in general. It’s a pattern, almost a compulsion. The quote states that the only issue with this behavior is their "own weakness." Aww. However, it's also quite cleverly said. It’s not about the person they’re criticizing; it’s about the critic themselves. These “weaknesses” don’t necessarily have to do with them being physically weak or downright poor people. They are usually internal, hidden struggles. Think about it:  Insecurity is a big one:  This condition is probably the most common culprit. If someone is deeply insecure about themselves—their appearance, their intelligence, their success, their happiness—what's an easy way to feel temporarily better? This can be achieved by highlighting the perceived shortcomings of others. It's akin to saying, "If I can make you feel inferior, perhaps I'm not as bad as I thought." It's a defense mechanism, a way to deflect attention from their fears and self-doubt. Example: Do you know that colleague who consistently makes sarcastic remarks about others' presentation abilities or their fashion selections? However, if you look closely, they might be quite shy about presenting themselves or dress in a way that blends in, trying not to draw attention. Their critiques might stem from their fear of being judged or their feeling that they aren't quite "good enough." Envy and Jealousy: Another classic. When someone sees another person achieving something they secretly desire—be it success, a fulfilling relationship, happiness, or even just a cool new gadget—their dissatisfaction often masks deep-seated envy. Rather than experiencing genuine joy for others, they seek to undermine their happiness. "Oh, she got that promotion, but she probably just got lucky," or "His new car is nice, but it's probably a money pit." Example: Imagine a friend who constantly finds fault with your partner or your relationship. "Are you really sure they're right for you? They seem a bit [insert negative trait]." Often, this response comes from a place where they might be struggling to find a path, or their relationship isn't as fulfilling as they'd like. Lack of Self-Awareness/Personal Fulfillment Sometimes, individuals who are perpetually dissatisfied with others may actually be deeply dissatisfied with their own lives, but they struggle to pinpoint the reason or why. They might feel a lack of purpose, emptiness, or just general unhappiness. They project their unhappiness outward onto everyone else instead of doing the hard work of looking inward and fixing their own issues. Blaming others is easier than blaming yourself. Example: Think about folks who spend an excessive amount of time online, trolling comment sections, or tearing down strangers. What personal challenges might lead individuals to find comfort in critiquing those they are not acquainted with? It's often a void that they're trying to fill, a way to exert some kind of power or control when they feel powerless in their existence. Fear of the Unknown/Change: For some, constantly finding fault in others stems from a rigid worldview and a fear of anything that deviates from their norm. They criticize different ways of thinking, living, or loving because they challenge their safe, familiar box, which can feel threatening. For example, a family member may nitpick every decision a younger relative makes regarding their career or lifestyle, consistently finding something "wrong" with those choices. They might be genuinely operating from a place of fear—fear of the unknown, fear that things are changing too fast, or fear that their life choices weren't the "best" ones. Therefore, the quote from " The Wealth of the Great Kingdom" offers insight rather than meanness.  Individual struggles often reveal the source of someone's persistent negativity, which typically stems from their own unaddressed flaws. It provides you with an alternative viewpoint, not to justify unacceptable behavior, but to comprehend its underlying causes. And indeed, it also serves as a valuable reflection for ourselves: if we find ourselves habitually scrutinizing others, perhaps it is time for a moment of self-examination. 

Author: Sezgin Ismailov



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